Good morning! I'm leaving home now for the TECH Cocktail conference in Chicago . I'll be attempting to Tweet "live" from the conference out to my followers on Twitter. If you want to hear the key messages from some of the hottest tech + marketing + startup people out there right ...

We’ll open

Blackberries are gettin it on with lemons in a caramel factory!

Smells like a combo of trans fluid, cigarette butts and rotten garba

Nonvintage. Of all the wines I’ve had, this is definitely one of them.

Smells like cosmoline, tastes like a grape-flavored cinderblock. Dissappointing for them.

Direct down the toilet. This is why you don’t drink wolfberry wine.

This nonvintage wine smells like a fart in a Smuckers jar, and tastes worse.

Like a fart-rubbed rack of lamb. In velvet.

Pros: available on JetBlue flights. Cons: most everything else.